Hello,
Welcome back to 365 Days of Poetry & Honesty! I’ve been gone longer than I expected. To tell the truth, I’ve been overwhelmed and it's been hard to sit every Sunday and reflect on what I’m writing without feeling like I’m pushed up against the edge. It's also been difficult to write. And maybe it's art therapy and the opening of my Pandora’s box, but the fact that memories weigh so much, and I ache consistently, it makes me hate myself. But that's vulnerability and I have to allow myself the freedom of no shame. And V would say something about self-compassion, about spoons, and how trauma lives in the body, and I’d apologise for needing so much tenderness. Because I do. I’m raw. don't want to lie.
But that this newsletter is finally here is perhaps a sign of something changing inside me. I’m praying for a different perspective. Pray 4 me! And I’m sending you all love wherever you are, and I’m hoping that June is kinder. Is gentle. Please!
Monday
it will be beautiful to for a moment not worry about what's lurking in the shadows. I want to trust, that above all, you love me.
Tuesday
holy water into wine into want
Wednesday
i sing sweetly// here's a wolf// if you want, you can hurt me too
Thursday
was half-asleep till you howled with your lips to the moon. give me teeth
Friday
wondering whether love tames you
Saturday
he lost his hands. i lost myself. i’m sorry i asked you for form
Sunday
body catches breath. can i return to the given knowledge of heartbreak. it feels easier to expect the loss.
With love,
Phoenix
x
you are just so talented, i want your collection right now.