Hi everyone,
Welcome to 365 Days of Poetry & Honesty!
I'm coming to you from my parent's home today because I spent the first half of the week going in and out of A&E. I'm still unsure what's up with me but my stomach has had me either bedridden or rocking back & forth in excruciating pain and although I'm still not past the pain completely, I'm a lot better thanks to my parents and an angel I met at A&E who demanded that the doctors pay attention to me and take the pain I was in seriously. I won't go into it completely because thinking about my time there, and my previous history at that hospital during a mental health crisis, makes me want to burst into tears, but I will say I felt humiliated and that both myself and my pain didn't matter. It's been a recurring theme, that feeling, these past couple of months, and having that reflected back to me at that hospital, I don't know anymore to be honest, but I just give thanks that my stubbornness when it comes to asking for help did not prevail and that the angel I bumped into again as I was throwing up in a paper bag told me that I was part of a community who cared about my survival and that I needed to phone my mum and that despite being discharged twice over with no pain relief, I needed to check myself back into A&E. I don't like to feel like I'm disturbing anyone but I needed looking after and I needed to be fed and this whole week has taught me that I'm not an island. I will say however that being woken up at 6/7am to listen to pastors preaching and people testifying about the devil being driven out their sinful lives has been a little disorienting/distressing but at this point anything feels better than where I was before. And I also have to say that parts of the bible, in particular Psalm 6, very much like poetry, and that the time I’ve spent with my parents has made me see that as much as I like to talk about leading with love, I Oyinda need to lead myself with love, and that means saying goodbye to certain behaviours I’ve used to numb my emotions.
Anyway I've got two poems I've written this week, and five others that I've enjoyed reading! Both those poems I wrote during my lucid moments and I'm proud of myself for finding the energy to write them and for putting the newsletter together this week :)
Also, I haven't really listened to music but I wanted to share this song with you. I actually think I cried when I first watched this live performance. It’s the most soothed I’ve felt all week and the beauty of it all, it was a blessing!
Monday
This is ‘Love Poem’ by Audre Lorde
Tuesday
This poem is called ‘The Thing Is’ by Ellen Bass
Wednesday
by me! Oyinda
Thursday
This poem is called ‘I Thought This Would Be My Life’ by Yang Qingxiang
Friday
This poem is called ‘won’t you celebrate with me’ by Lucille Clifton
Saturday
Another poem by me, Oyinda!
Sunday
This poem is called 'Alphabet’ by Inger Christensen
Thank you for reading the poems this week <3
With Love,
Oyinda