Hello!
Welcome to 365 Days of Poetry & Honesty :) i hope you are well and that this coming week is full of brighter days 💌 i’ve started art therapy and i think i like it though it's painful to be honest with myself about my emotions in the presence of another person. but i do it anyway with the poetry, though really sometimes the vulnerability feels performative because i hide behind the metaphor. either way, i’m here and i am slowly climbing out of the shadows. It's spring !
& i’ve realised i feel this deep hatred towards myself and i don't want to, there's no reason to. so, i’m writing this to say that i hope you all know that at the core of you is love and love begets love and you are loved and you matter. i hope you know. & i hope you believe me when i say that, regardless of your output, you are always worthy and deserving of grace and compassion and love and i hope you are surrounded by people who reflect that.
Songs of the week !
Monday
i want to build my heart a fortress
Tuesday
body unfolds i am holding an ocean
Wednesday
reflecting on the nature of the one night stand. i have yet to weep for 40 days & 40 nights & i hope i never do but i have felt deeply that sense of rejection when the sun rises and you return to being strangers. i don't like it i don't want it again
Thursday
The title of thursday’s poem is “Life is a quest and love is a quarrell - (W)here is a place for me to lie” - from the poem ‘Weeds’ by Edna St. Vincent Millay
Friday
i am forever a small child yearning a love for love’s sake
Saturday
bliss feels indecent but the sound is holy is enveloping is almost orgasmic in the sense that it's like you're pursuing religious ecstasy & you're almost there & at the precipice of something close to God, it's perhaps my burning bush. the sound is the drums at the beginning of Pursuance, part 3 of a A Love Supreme by John Coltrane . it's funny i’m falling into my faith and it feels like a homecoming but dw! my God is concerned with pleasure not punishment
Sunday
3 poems for Sunday & i am dreaming that i’m walking across the horns of the moon, what i really want from you is tenderness; living is very conditional.
Gloria Anzaldúa, A Woman Lies Buried Under Me.
Thank you for reading my newsletter 💌
With love,
Phoenix
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